i'd burn this city down to show you the light
by applecoral
Summary: Sometimes, he thinks they should stop. But then she crushes her lips against his, and the pleasure is all he can think about.
1. Chapter 1

Sometimes, he thinks they should stop. But then she crushes her lips against his, and the pleasure is all he can think about.

* * *

They met on a Saturday. Kylo was dropping off lunch for his father, who was always too busy tinkering with his prized car, the _Falcon._

"Dad?" He called out into the auto-repair shop. As usual, the music was blaring through the garage, making it impossible to hear anything. As if that mattered to his father.

A young woman rolled out from beneath a car, cursing under her breath. She paused, noticing him. "Can I help you?" There was a patch of grease smudged across her forehead.

"Is Han Solo here?" The music was starting to give him a headache.

"Nope, just me today. Han went out to lunch with Chewbacca around two hours ago. I don't think they'll be coming back today." Great. It was just like his dad to go off without any notice. And now he came all this way for nothing.

"Of course he did. Right, thanks." Kylo turned to leave, but he missed the toolbox lying at his feet, – _it was bright red, how could he miss it? –_ tripping over it and falling flat on his face.

"Are you okay?" She was at his side in an instant, helping him into a sitting position.

 _Idiot!_ Kylo thought to himself. Tripping over a silly toolbox was already ridiculous enough, but falling in front of an attractive woman? Thank god his dad wasn't here to make fun of him for it.

"Yeah, fine." Kylo mumbled, blushing.

"Your hand is bleeding!" He finally noticed the throbbing pain in his right hand. An angry red gash ran diagonally along the palm of his hand. She rushed into the office, coming back with a first aid kit. Taking out disinfectant and bandages, she started to clean and wrap Kylo's hand. He couldn't be more attracted to her in this moment, her tongue thoughtfully poking out between her pink lips.

He hissed at the pain, as she cleaned his wound with an antibacterial wipe. "Sorry." She finally wrapped a bandage around Kylo's hand.

"Thanks." He inspected his right hand. "I'm Kylo."

"I'm Rey." She smiled. "Are you always this clumsy?"

"Only when I'm in the presence of a beautiful woman." Oh god, what was he doing? He was not good at flirting, why was he trying now?

"You think I'm beautiful?" Rey smiled and shifted closer to him. Thank god. And it's not like it wasn't true. She had hazel eyes that seemed to shine whenever she moved and a smile as bright as the sun.

"Your beauty would be the cause of several wars." That was definitely not one of his best lines. He leaned in, close enough to spot the light dusting of freckles across her face.

After a brief moment of hesitation, Rey pressed her lips to his. He responded by deepening the kiss, gliding his tongue into her mouth. Moving into his lap, she tangled her hand into his messy dark hair. Her lips were soft, and she tasted faintly of mint. Kylo rested his hands onto her hips. Rey lightly tugged on his hair, eliciting a soft moan from him. Feeling brave, he adjusted her legs around his waist, and gripping her hips, Kylo stumbled over to the couch in his dad's office.

His dad would probably kill him if he knew what was going on in his office, yet still be a little proud of his son.

"Should we be doing this in here?" Rey pulled away from him, breathing heavily.

 _Damnit._ Kylo was looking forward to getting to ruin something of his dad's.

"My apartment's only 10 minutes away." He offered. _Please say yes, please say yes._ She grinned, taking his uninjured hand and practically dragging him to his car.

* * *

That was four weeks ago. If he had to label it, Kylo would say they're simply friends with benefits. They were just two strangers, who realized that they really liked having sex with each other. Sometimes they'll go to her apartment, but her roommate Finn is usually home. It's better that way, because his place is bigger anyway. Not that it'll matter when she realizes that she could do much better than him. Even if they're just casual sex partners, the thought still stings.

 _If asked, Kylo would deny that he wanted to think of Rey as more than that._

Rey's young and full of energy. He learns about her tabby cat, Beebee – _she doesn't like Kylo –_ and how she loves working at his dad's auto-repair shop. The job is mostly to help her pay off student loans, as she's studying for a degree in Mechanical Engineering. But more than anything, Rey wants to be able to travel and see the world.

 _Kylo wants to help her fulfill that dream._

But he knows they won't last long enough for him to see her be that happy.

Instead, Kylo thinks about how hilariously irritated his father would be if he found out his son was having sex with his young employee. Rey still hasn't made the connection between Kylo and Han. Not that she would. To her, Kylo is just the guy who showed up looking for her boss. _He should probably tell her soon._

Kylo wants them to be his secret for as long as he can hide it.


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes, she hopes they never stop. The thought is always at the back of her mind, even as she pushes him onto his bed to straddle him, and the pleasure is all she can think about.

* * *

Having sex with someone like Kylo was unexpected. Initially, she expected him to be average, just one and done. The actual outcome was surprising, but obviously welcome. He had the cheesiest pick up lines, but he was attractive, in a certain way, and she was frustrated after working on the same car all morning. Sex would relieve her of that tension. And sex with Kylo was definitely a great way to relieve any tension. Her boss, Han Solo, wouldn't have minded if she left early. He was like the father she never had.

Kylo was older than her. Not that she minded. His years seemed to add to his experience. For her first no-strings-attached relationship, it was turning out to be fine. She could dream about wanting more out of it, but it'd just be wishful thinking. Kylo deserved someone closer to his own age, not a young girl who just dreams of vast oceans and leafy green islands. It's these thoughts that lead her to deciding to end it with him. She would always have the four weeks they were together. She liked the way his hair was always effortlessly messy. She liked the way he moaned her name. She even liked his cheesy jokes and pick up lines. _Would it be selfish to have sex with him one more time before ending it?_

* * *

It's 2 days before Christmas.

 _Rey: I need to see you._

 _Kylo: My place, 20 minutes. ;)_

* * *

Kylo drove home from work in record time. It was nearly the holidays anyway. His heart beating fast with excitement. _He probably shouldn't be this excited at the thought of seeing her._ By the time he sprinted to his door, Rey was already there waiting. Her hair was in a unique ponytail with three loops at the back, and she stood by the door, tapping away at her phone.

"Hey." Kylo breathed. He leaned against the wall, trying to disguise the fact that he ran up six flights of stairs.

"Hi." Rey slipped her phone into her back pocket. There was something different about her.

"Why didn't you let yourself in?" She has a key. He gave her one just in case.

Rey opened her mouth, but closed it after a moment.

It's her eyes. Kylo noticed that instead of their usual bright hue, her eyes have darkened to a dull brown. That's not good.

"Hey. What's wrong?" He stepped closer, closing the gap between them. He reached for her face, but she turned away, avoiding his touch.

"We have to talk about something." _That's never a good sign, is it?_

Kylo's mind raced, trying to think of what she might say. She's figured out he's Han Solo's son. She's realized that she can do better and she's ending it.

"I know." He knew this day would come. But he thought he would have had more time.

Rey looked up at him, relief and another emotion he can't place written on her face.

"We should-"

"This can't-"

"You go-"

"No, you-"

"I think we should end this." They said at the same time.

Moments passed, with the two of them staring into each other's eyes.

"Can I at least have one last kiss?" It's Kylo, who broke the silence. Rey silently obliged, leaning up and pressing her lips to his. She still tasted like mint.

* * *

Christmas Day

Every Christmas, the Skywalker-Solo family would have a big dinner to celebrate. Even if it was just his uncle, dad's best friend, and his parents, his mother insisted on having everyone together for Christmas. Kylo was definitely not in the mood to celebrate this year. He missed Rey. A ridiculous thought, because it was a mutual agreement to end things. Even if he wished that they could have been together for longer, been something more.

"Ben, can you set the table?" His uncle, Luke, asked. Ben. He didn't like that name. Ben was the name of a child, boring and weak. Kylo was the name of someone powerful, like he is now.

"Sure." He wasn't in the mood for anything, but his mom would be disappointed if he just sat around skulking.

"Set six places!" Han called from the kitchen.

"Why?" Five. There were only ever five at Christmas.

"You'll find out later!" Kylo rolled his eyes. His dad was so weird sometimes.

"I have a bad feeling about this." He mumbled to himself. As if the gods heard and wanted to torture him some more, the doorbell rang.

"Ben, can you get the door?" Leia, his mother, asked. The whole family was busy with preparing for the dinner.

Wordlessly, Kylo opened the door, only to find Rey standing there. She had her hair loose around her shoulders, and wore a sleeveless black dress that reached mid thigh. She looked beautiful.

"Rey?" His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, and he was worried his normally deep voice would crack at the sight of her. "What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same thing. Han invited me for Christmas dinner at his house." She was not expecting to see the man she had just ended things with at Han Solo's house.

"Rey! You made it!" His mother walked up to hug Rey. In shock, Kylo could only step back and watch.

"Thank you for inviting me! I didn't know what to bring, so I just brought some wine, if that's okay?" Rey held up a bag, with a Christmas bow on the side of it.

"Oh, you're too sweet. Han said that you didn't have any Christmas plans, of course we're not going to let you be alone on Christmas." Leia smiled. "I'll bring this into the kitchen; you can just talk to my son, Ben. Dinner is almost ready." She took the bag from Rey and walked away from the two.

"Ben?" Rey turned to glare at him. Before anyone else could interrupt, he quickly ushered her into the empty lounge.

"It's my birth name, Benjamin Solo." He admitted. "I go by Kylo Ren, usually. It's less embarrassing."

"Right. Kylo Ren is less embarrassing than Ben Solo." She barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes. "And you lied! You never told me Han Solo was your dad."

"It's not a lie, just something that I didn't think was necessary to mention. It's not like we did a lot of talking anyway." He smirked at the memory of all the times they were together. Rey seemed to soften at that.

She stepped closer, tilting her head up to look at him. If he just leaned down, he could kiss her. His eyes flickered down to her lips, then back up to her eyes. His heart was pounding in his chest so loudly, he was sure she could hear it.

"Ben! Rey! Dinner!" Leia called from the dining room, and Rey hurried past him.

* * *

Dinner was awkward. Han sat next to Leia, and across from Chewie. Luke sat across from Leia, leaving Rey and Kylo facing each other. He stared at his plate, silently shoving mashed potatoes and turkey into his mouth to avoid being pulled into a conversation. Rey, seated next to his dad, was engaged in an animated conversation about the importance of decarbonisation. Occasionally, he felt her staring at him, silently willing him to look at her. He was afraid that if he met her gaze, he would break down and confess his true feelings.

"So Rey, do you have a boyfriend?" His mother's question caused Kylo's heart to stutter. _Oh god, not now._

Rey hesitated briefly, before answering. "Actually, I was seeing someone, but it didn't work out." Kylo looked up, focusing on a spot on the wall by her shoulder.

"I liked him a lot, but I guess he didn't feel the same way." They seemed to stare at each other for ages, until Rey looked away.

After dinner, the adults went to talk and catch up in the living room, leaving Rey and Kylo with the task of cleaning the dishes. _She insisted._

It was a painfully awkward silence. He washed, while she dried. It could almost be something cute, if not for their situation.

Clearing his throat, he spoke first. "You liked me?"

She seemed to anticipate the question. "Still do, actually."

"Then why-"

"Why did you?" Rey stopped drying to turn to face him.

"You deserve someone better than me." He mumbled, choosing to stare at the dish he'd been washing for the past few minutes. "You should get to be young and have fun with someone your own age."

"That's not something for you to decide." She pointed an accusing finger at him. "I liked being with you because you were something good. But I just thought it'd be better if you had something more concrete with someone else. Hypocritical, I know." Her cheeks were tinged with pink.

"Rey." He didn't know she felt that way. And he knew he fucked up.

"Forget it." She turned to leave. Not this time. Kylo grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. His heart is leaping with joy. Her hands reached up to rest on his face and at the back of his neck. His wet hands moved to her hips, creating a wet patch on her dress. Her tongue pushes into his mouth, gliding over his teeth. They're desperate kisses, filled with longing, making up for the miscommunication. He thought he heard her moan his given name, but coming from her, he didn't mind. A particularly loud laugh from Luke caused them to separate. They were both breathing heavily, but never tore their eyes away from each other. His forehead rested against hers.

"Do you want to just get out of here?" He couldn't stop himself from grinning.

"I thought you'd never ask." Kylo ran past the living room with Rey in hand, calling out a goodbye, the pair hardly able to keep their hands off of each other.

"...What the hell just happened?" A confused Han asked his wife, who only smiled knowingly.


End file.
